Something Shiny!

A stranger touched my belly last week. Someone whose name I don’t know (okay, she was a waitress where we were having lunch, but still), and whose hand was completely uninvited, touched my belly. I’d heard of this happening, of course. There’s apparently something about a pregnant woman’s belly that makes people lose all sense of personal boundaries and appropriate behavior. I always figured I’d say something like, “sure, if I can touch yours” if someone asked to touch teh belleh. But this woman didn’t ask. I was taking off my jacket and, before I knew it, her hand was on me. Being pregnant doesn’t make me public domain, folks. What gives?

Sunday morning I was in the middle of yoga. Deep inside, inner peace, all that jazz. And, somewhere behind me, I heard our fat orange jerk of a cat, Amos, go padding into my office. I didn’t think much of it because, well, deep inside and inner peace and all that. But once I was done and feeling very refreshed and one with the world [insert foreshadowing here], I wandered into my office to see where he had settled. I should explain that Amos has a knack for finding the one place where he absolutely should not sleep, even if it means walking straight past ten other places where it’s perfectly fine for him to settle down. My eyes wandered around the room: no, he’s not on the dog’s bed; no, he’s not on the cushy chair; he’s… wait… NO! He was IN THE CRIB. In the baby’s crib, that I covered (well, fairly ineffectively, it turns out) with a giant yoga ball so as to keep cats out. Folks, the time it took me to go from “zen-like inner peace” to “YOUMOTHERF*CKERGETOUTTATHERE!” would make your head spin. Rodney Yee would be horrified.

Nothing like a little bad ’80s hair band to kick off a blog post, amirite? So here we are. NaBloPoMo Day 30: praise the lord and pass the potatoes. I’ve missed this space a lot, I really have, but blogging everyday when I’m otherwise crazy busy was HARD. I like the idea of blogging everyday, in theory, but I found that I’m sort of lacking in material these days. Well, I’m pregnant, so I’m never lacking in that kind of material. But I don’t want to bore everyone (including myself) with day after day of MAH BAYBEE. That gets really old really fast. But I am hoping to visit this space more often, so hopefully I’ll see you around here too! Over and out.