Something Shiny!

I visited my local post office today to get a new passport. Technically, I also visited my local post office yesterday to get a new passport, only to find that their “passport office hours” were not the same as their “regular post office hours,” and as such I was too late to “get a new passport.” Ahem. I’d done all my research on what I needed to know about the passport business. I knew I couldn’t renew by mail because my marriage certificate shows my maiden name, not my married name. I knew I wanted to expedite the process, and had calculated what the additional fees would be. And I knew that my passport photo had to show me with my glasses on, because I need them to see, and thus they were considered part of my ‘normal street attire’ (in this, I directly contradicted the guy at Kinkos who told me to remove my glasses for the photo). Suffice it to say, I thought that I’d be able to waltz up to the postal employee this afternoon, cut a check, and be on my merry way. (You know where this is going, right?) Ha ha, it is to laugh. Looking over my paperwork, said postal employee sighed grandly and announced that I’d filled out the wrong form. As he was reaching for a new form, I nicely but firmly told him that I’d filled out the right form for my circumstances (see above, re: marriage certificate). Once he was satisfied with that, he started mooing and lowing about how my passport photo (with glasses!) would probably be rejected because it was, he thought, a millimeter too big. He even brought out a fancy transparency that he laid over the top of the photo to show me. It was fine, but he took the opportunity to caution me that my application might be rejected anyway. Something about how I needed to be holding a pig under the full moon when Mars was in retrograde. I’m paraphrasing, naturally. With the line growing behind me, he pressed on: did I know that it would take five to six weeks to get a passport? And that it might not arrive in time for our tentative summer travel plans? I assured him I knew, and that I wanted to pay extra to expedite the process. Then I passed him a twenty and asked how much it would cost to expedite this particular process. (No, of course I didn’t.) Convinced that I knew the risks involved, he moved on to question 21a: Status of most recent passport book. I’d selected ‘In My Possession,’ since my old passport was, you know, in my possession. Ah! he said. It’s not technically in your possession since you have to submit your old one to the State Department! Right, but I hadn’t yet submitted it and… oh, nevermind. He was already marking ‘Other’ and scrawling ‘submitted’ next to the box.

All of which is to say, half an hour later, I was convinced that it’s a good thing the public option is no longer on the table in the health insurance debate. Can you just imagine? You go into surgery, mentally prepared to have your left leg removed (as an example). Once you’re on the table, the doctor tries to tell you that no, in fact, it’s your left *arm* that’s supposed to be removed instead. And, in any case, you’ve filled out the wrong form. Please proceed to the next window, where Marla will be happy to remove both of your arms. Oh, but be sure you fill out the form first. Next!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 16th, 2010 at 2:14 pm and is filed under MeMeMeMeMe, Musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.