Something Shiny!

I had some copies made at the UPS Store yesterday. I’d dropped them off in the morning and went to pick them up around 1:30. I figured, middle of the day, surely they won’t be busy. Got in line, noticed there were two people in front of me. Here’s where it gets weird. The guy at the front of the line needed to ship a suitcase. A large, bulky suitcase. The bimbo girl behind the counter eyed it cautiously, snapped her gum, and twirled her hair. She wondered if it would break the scale. No, no! the guy explained, it’s empty. He was shipping an empty, battered, bulky suitcase to (wait for it) Hawaii. Okaaaaay. He hefted it on to the scale, she plugged the zip code into the computer, and asked him if he wanted to box it. (!) Of course he wanted to box it! Okay, she said, that’ll be $330. That’s fine, he said, I need to get this to Hawaii. An empty suitcase. Just as an aside, do they sell suitcases in Hawaii? I’m thinking so. How about you send the person who’s supposed to receive this mammoth of a suitcase $330 and they can just buy a new one? No? That’s fine, I’ll wait. UPS Girl then proceeded to lug out the biggest box you’ve ever seen, and started assembling it. She saw the other two of us in line. “I’ll be right with you!” she trilled. The guy in front of me nodded, unconcerned. He’s waiting to ship… wait, what’s that? FOUR TRUCK TIRES. All of a sudden, I feel like I’m in a Monty Python sketch. I’m in line at the UPS Store. I can see the copies behind the counter that I’m waiting to pay for. But somehow I’m in line behind a guy trying to ship an empty suitcase to the other side of the continent, and a guy who wants to ship four truck tires to heaven-knows-where.

Thwarted, I went to get lunch. When I came back, Tire Guy was just finishing up, and another UPS Girl had appeared behind the counter. Finally I got to pay for my copies. On my way home, I passed our neighbor. He was driving his riding lawn mower to the gas station, while clutching his weed eater. Back inside, I seriously questioned the wisdom of leaving the house again.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 25th, 2009 at 3:44 pm and is filed under LOL, MeMeMeMeMe. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.