“Common” courtesy
February 6, 2009emily 2 Comments »John and I have been debating about common courtesy for… well, for quite some time now, and I’d like to hear (read?) what others think. My contention is that there is still, even in the 21st century, a notion of common courtesy. That there are still certain things that Emily Post, if you will, would dictate that we do or don’t do. (Do: say thank you when someone holds a door open for you. Don’t: interrupt someone, even a friend, while they’re talking.) John maintains that “common” courtesy does not exist because we all are so very different and because the times, they are a’ changing. That the guidelines for behavior that seemed so important in yesteryear no longer apply to our time. To a certain extent, I agree. Men should no longer be expected to throw their jackets over a puddle so that their lady fair doesn’t sully her shoes. Likewise, women should no longer be expected to bring calling cards when they visit an acquaintance. But just as we stop at red lights and pull over for emergency vehicles, I do think there are certain norms of behavior, common courtesy if you will, that still have relevance in our society. (Not that I’m arguing that stopping at red lights and pulling over for emergency vehicles is common courtesy, you understand. It’s the law, after all.) So, what do you think?
Posted on February 6th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Maybe we should change the name to “uncommon” courtesy. I agree that it should exist. Please, thank you, may I, etc. are all good ways to live and good things to teach our kids.
Posted on February 7th, 2009 at 12:15 am
Oh dear. You know you have my full support in this argument. Yeah, we’re all unique, blah blah blah, but RSVPs, thank-you notes, etc, are not old-fashioned.
I mean, it’s kind of like saying the rules of grammar are optional. Or that stop sign…just a suggestion. Seriously. Traffic, grammar, etiquette – basic rules for getting along with others not throwbacks from a bygone era.
For what it’s worth, I’m still waiting for thank you notes for 1 wedding, 1 graduation, and 2 babies from various family and friends over the past three years. Not that I keep track of these things though.
Do you have Peggy Post’s Etiquette book? It’s MARVY.