Something Shiny!

I visited my local post office today to get a new passport. Technically, I also visited my local post office yesterday to get a new passport, only to find that their “passport office hours” were not the same as their “regular post office hours,” and as such I was too late to “get a new passport.” Ahem. I’d done all my research on what I needed to know about the passport business. I knew I couldn’t renew by mail because my marriage certificate shows my maiden name, not my married name. I knew I wanted to expedite the process, and had calculated what the additional fees would be. And I knew that my passport photo had to show me with my glasses on, because I need them to see, and thus they were considered part of my ‘normal street attire’ (in this, I directly contradicted the guy at Kinkos who told me to remove my glasses for the photo). Suffice it to say, I thought that I’d be able to waltz up to the postal employee this afternoon, cut a check, and be on my merry way. (You know where this is going, right?) Ha ha, it is to laugh. Looking over my paperwork, said postal employee sighed grandly and announced that I’d filled out the wrong form. As he was reaching for a new form, I nicely but firmly told him that I’d filled out the right form for my circumstances (see above, re: marriage certificate). Once he was satisfied with that, he started mooing and lowing about how my passport photo (with glasses!) would probably be rejected because it was, he thought, a millimeter too big. He even brought out a fancy transparency that he laid over the top of the photo to show me. It was fine, but he took the opportunity to caution me that my application might be rejected anyway. Something about how I needed to be holding a pig under the full moon when Mars was in retrograde. I’m paraphrasing, naturally. With the line growing behind me, he pressed on: did I know that it would take five to six weeks to get a passport? And that it might not arrive in time for our tentative summer travel plans? I assured him I knew, and that I wanted to pay extra to expedite the process. Then I passed him a twenty and asked how much it would cost to expedite this particular process. (No, of course I didn’t.) Convinced that I knew the risks involved, he moved on to question 21a: Status of most recent passport book. I’d selected ‘In My Possession,’ since my old passport was, you know, in my possession. Ah! he said. It’s not technically in your possession since you have to submit your old one to the State Department! Right, but I hadn’t yet submitted it and… oh, nevermind. He was already marking ‘Other’ and scrawling ’submitted’ next to the box.

All of which is to say, half an hour later, I was convinced that it’s a good thing the public option is no longer on the table in the health insurance debate. Can you just imagine? You go into surgery, mentally prepared to have your left leg removed (as an example). Once you’re on the table, the doctor tries to tell you that no, in fact, it’s your left *arm* that’s supposed to be removed instead. And, in any case, you’ve filled out the wrong form. Please proceed to the next window, where Marla will be happy to remove both of your arms. Oh, but be sure you fill out the form first. Next!

All three of the cats threw up in the house in the same week, recently, at different times, which is funny because… wait, it’s not funny.

I haven’t gotten a haircut since August. By November it was relatively easy to say that it was because money was tight since John was unemployed. Now I’m forced to admit that it’s just because I’m lazy.

I finished overhauling one of my chapters this week in four days. Four! Days! That’s pretty much a record for me, so I’m going to go ahead and take a bow. Of course, now that I’m starting my next task, I’m staring at the computer screen going, “wait, what?”

On a related note, I’m holding a funeral for Spring Break 2010 this weekend. You’re all invited to join me, of course, and those who want to say a few words will be more than welcome to do so.

The word “fasties” up there reminds me of when we were in England, seeing signs all over Bath for “Cornish Pasties,” a delicious savory lunch menu item. Pasties, in that sense, is pronounced with a short ‘a,’ as in fast or crash or alley. And how much do I wish someone had been there to explain that to me? Because believe me when I say, you do *not* want to be the only person chortling about “Cornish Pasties,” thinking that it’s pronounced with a long ‘a,’ as in state or day or, well, pasties.

So! [claps hands] Where were we? After Friday’s debacle, I’m pretty relieved to be on Spring Break right now. Spring Break as a grad student is so very, very different from Spring Break as an undergrad. To wit: I’m on Spring Break Day Two and there’s nary a beach in sight. I’m in Florida, sure, but that’s about it. (My brother called the other night and, choking back laughter, asked if I was going to Florida for Spring Break. Har har har.) So what am I doing with my time, you ask? I’m catching some sun! I’m sleeping in late! I’m enjoying the beautiful weather! I’m… completely lying: in fact, I’m working on my dissertation. While I could pretend to be bummed about that, I’m actually totally jazzed. I’m so jazzed that I just used the word “jazzed.” It’s been since last summer that I had this kind of time to devote to my own research and I honestly couldn’t be happier. I only interrupted my work twice today: once for lunch and once to update my Facebook page about the Lohan-a-holic brouhaha. Because, seriously, could she be more crazy? Milk-a-whaaat? Good stuff. Here’s to Spring Break 2010! Come on down, the weather’s fine!